I wake to sleep, I sleep to wake.

25 06 2012

It has to be terrible, when on your day off, you can’t think of anything to do..and you’re so bored that you want to actually BE AT work. I’m starting to turn into those workaholics…Not good.

But I almost feel like, that’s kind of what happens when you get back from a vacation. When you step back into your real life and realize it’s not just beaches and fun.

I’ve got one month left of summer. I have to fill it with exciting things..I’m going to start making a list! And that’ll help get me back in shape! Speaking about shape, I’ve picked up bike riding! Oh it’s exciting..lol. Anyways onto the real reason I’m blogging today.

Workaholics. I see them all the time, and it worries me. Aren’t they scared? That they’ll never have enough time for the people they love? Or just something simple like taking a walk or eating at home instead of on the street.

Daniel, this past burnt out romance, worked everyday for at least 12 hours, and he would come home and sleep, he was on call and would work weekends. I’m surprised he had time for me, most of the time we spent was watching a movie that he would fall asleep to. It didn’t bother me much, I understood that he was tired.

People shouldn’t be allowed to work that much, I couldn’t stand this past week, I can’t imagine years of it..I know they have emotions, but that work system seems to drown them out.

There’s always that desperate wife that never gets enough husband time and they end up divorcing, or that workaholic mom that never sees her kids, or that work and study son that will never go on a date because he has no time.

See; what I picture should happen is this..That desperate wife makes him dinner, washes his clothes and waits for him; while he stops by before coming home and buys her flowers. She’s surprised and a tad bit better. Or he’ll buy dinner for the night, he’ll come home for lunch instead of eating out.
And that workaholic mom, she’ll take her kids out to a late night Friday movie; She’ll surprise them at school when it’s their lunchtime; She’ll write them little letters for the day when she knows she won’t be able to see them all day; She’ll still come home and kiss them goodnight even if they’re already asleep;

That study hard boy and 24/7 worker will eventually notice that the library he’s constantly at has a gleaming gorgeous worker. He’ll realize she’s always stared at him, and he’ll eventually ask her for help when he doesn’t even need it. He’ll start dressing up to go to the library and soon enough, it’ll be study dates.

As much work as you put into employment you should put into your actual life. I guess it’s okay to work 12 hours a day, as long as you don’t make that the only part of your day.


I’m losing what I never found;

21 06 2012

So it’s over.

“what, your blog?”

No, that little romance I had..

“Oh. I swear I wished you the best;..I’m sorry”

Nah, it’s okay. I mean It was only a month or so.

“Go ahead, tell me the story”

I think this is the first time we’re actually getting along! Haha, well..Everything was great; Same weird personality, and we got along fine..Only problem was. He didn’t want to date out of his religion and he wanted to end it before he hurt me even more.

It was enraging, you would think there would be a way to coexisit right? I couldn’t believe it. A perfect man; hard working, didn’t drink, smoke or do drugs, wanted a family, was hilarious and didn’t think I was weird. But it couldn’t happen..because of a title.

I wonder how many people septate over these titles; don’t get me wrong, I am religious..but religion is man made; its not perfect.

I soon realized, that maybe it was okay we separated. I was raised to fix something when it was broken, not give up on it. I want someone that’ll do the same..

Anyways; I’m back, same hopeless romantic as always (;

“Welcome back…hoe!..lol sorry, had to say something rude”

Protected: Hello?..(pause) “Oh, sorry, I was underwater”

12 06 2012

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It’s almost….here;

21 05 2012




One, two, three, FOUR.

“Uhm, you’re repeating yourself”

I KNOW. That’s because there’s only 4 DAYS LEFT Of high school and then I’m done! For good. I can’t wait! Oh the excitement! You wouldn’t understand though, you’re just letters.

“Wow, ass”



Anyways; The reasons as to why I’m so ecstatic are:

-No more drug addicts! (Which also includes, no more argument about legalizing marijuana, no more terrible smells, no one trying to sell me things, no more sheriffs wandering around, and no more people trying to tell me the world is square, OH! And no more people talking about sex in disgusting manors)


-No more DRAMA. (Which includes, no more pregnant teens trying to rally someone up because they talked to their “baby daddy”, no more trashy girls, no more duck faces, no more pointless arguing, not hearing the words, “She ratchet!, Oh hell naw, Uh she gross, BITCH!, etc”, and no more hair pulling.

-No more annoying couples! (Which means, no more minute breakups!, no more obnoxious arguing and having to pick a side, no more “I love you so muchhh!” after three days, no more making out in the hallways, no more “Oh my sweety and I are going to get married (:” Even though you’re cheating on him,)

“DAMN, didn’t you like anything? You rotten kid..”

Of course! I mean..I’ll miss my friends, and my senior class, and my teachers; I’ll miss the lounge, and our pranks and jokes. But I mean seriously, I’m sick of the constant 8 hour school day.

I know I’ll have to deal with some of the things I mentioned in real life, but at least I won’t be locked with them in a building for 8 consecutive hours.   -_-”



My mouths shooting blanks;

21 05 2012

And I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t. I knew you had me, actually No, no I didn’t.  I didn’t know you owned every part of me. I swear I didn’t. You were lovely though; So sweet..so soft, your skin surfaced an envy within me, but it didn’t matter..You were mine. Tracing the outlines of your face, I couldn’t get over the goosebumps; Never perfect with anyone else. It wasn’t even the butterflies or the blushing that made it obvious, it was the way your hands automatically intertwined around my waist and your eyes were constantly locked on mine. Those silent moments when my eyes were loud and your eyes responded calmly.


And the fairy tale ended like this;

17 05 2012

I closed work last night, and it kind of sucked.

My recent ex’s parents came in, with his sisters to eat; and of course, they played the “I’m going to smile and talk to you, as if nothing happened, because we know our son screwed up” card. I can’t even begin to explain how I felt. Not to mention his mother is the spitting image of him..

I headed back to the kitchen to collect my thoughts, and my manager pulled me aside. He explained how people were giving the new girl a hard time because she was a former employee’s ex girlfriend. I guess word got around that she was terrible in the relationship so people were going to take the guys side and be shitty towards her; He wanted me to set a good vibe and help stop it.

On my way back out to the front of the restaurant.. I couldn’t help but think, “One sided story”

It always happens, a couple breaks up and they both try and ruin each others image. It’s fucking ridiculous. And it drives me up a wall; anyways..It soon hit me,

“What’s my story?”

I wanted to go up to his parents and ask what he had told them; What my story was from his mouth. Then I started thinking about the story I had said, what story I had told. Maybe I had been wrong all along, maybe they didn’t think their son screwed up, what if they only smiled because they were trying to hide their hate because they think I did something?

I was dying to know if he had bad mouthed me, if he had told a terrible story about me. We all want to know our stories..mostly because we want to be reassured that they love us, and won’t down talk us. Because its terrorizing hearing someone tell you about how your recent lover of 3 years called you a crazy bitch.

I ended up working the rest of the night without a word to his parents. After my shift I sat in my car for a good half hour before I drove off; I kept replaying the words I said in my head to people when we broke up.

“No, he’s not a douchebag, he’s going through a terrible time;”, “No, don’t yell at him”, “He’s a sweetheart, i know it..”

I don’t know why that servers relationship with her ended, but I know they dated for 2 years; Why would you try and make her life hell at work?

I guess it depends heavily on the breakup; If it ended badly i could see the words coming in anger.. but still; It’s astonishing the length some people will go to accomplish things..

“Seriously, you’re too fucking sensitive. Please. GO watch horror movies, and hangout with some douchebags. Then come back and reread this. You’ll hate yourself”

lol; Bro. Log on to Diablo 3; I’ll murder you.

What’s your insight?

You’re a wolf, girl, get out of this town;

13 05 2012

Finished my paper! Woo! Three cheers, and shots on me. Finally. I’ll be able to graduate now! Right?

Anyways onto a more interesting topic; Tonight at work, I was running through the restaurant and noticed a couple. They were sitting in a booth, just them and they weren’t talking. The woman seemed impatient and was very well dressed; you could tell she tried to dress younger for her age.  The guy seemed like he had a terrible self esteem, and didn’t look like a confident type.

First thought that raced through my mind? “She’s cheating, wants a divorce, hasn’t told him and he knows but he’s trying to deny it and be a whipped husband to try and keep her”
As terrible as this sounds, I purposely walked up to them to ask them how their meal was going and if everything was running smoothly, and like I imagined, the woman acted like she was younger and was the one who mostly talked. After a while, I turned most of the conversation to the husband. Which drove her mad, because she began tapping her foot and her fingers and looked away multiply times.

I thought I’d make it even better, by making it look like I attracted to the guy. I didn’t really flirt, but I was overly nice. I could tell he was surprised and didn’t know to react. He then asked me to leave, because I was making his wife uncomfortable. I smiled, apologized then left.

It made me kind of happy, knowing that he did that. Instead of rubbing it off in his wife’s face, he kept his place as her husband and didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or jealous. Regardless of how she treated him.

This broken man is in love with her, it makes me wonder how their night ended up going. If my little show made even the slightest difference at all in their relationship..;

I don’t know their true story; but that’s definitely something I’m terrified for in marriage. Not so much the cheating but the sitting and no talking, the forgot about love phase, and the “i’m better then you” attitudes. I know all marriages aren’t like this..

I can’t understand how a loving couple can get to that point..You don’t just stop loving them, or showing it.

“Haha you sound like a little girl with a fairy tale dream”

lol; you sound like a lonely douchebag ;)

“..Alright, you can have your happy ending”

Haha, I will; Because this time we wont’ be lions, we’ll be wolfs; and I definitively won’t  give up.